I woke up to the intensity of panicked nurses scurrying around the room. As I lay flat, I heard the sound of beeping monitors and felt throbbing pain throughout my body. Hundreds of thoughts began flashing through my mind. Could that Amtrak train have hit me? I can’t believe I crashed another one of Dad’s cars! Do I have all my limbs? Simultaneously, I tried to move my legs, arms, and fingers. With all the strength I could muster up, I stretched my right hand over to feel the left. Even though my fingers were attached, they were numb. I immediately assumed this paralysis was just a temporary condition. Everything would be fine.
Suddenly pain soared throughout my body as nurses began suturing up deep lacerations in both arms. They couldn’t give me pain meds because of the instability of my vital organs. I drifted into shock.
Since the age of nine, my life passion was to be a concert violinist, and I was well on my way at twenty years. My love of the instrument and my desire to become a violinist became my identity.
After finishing my classes at the university this sunny afternoon, I was headed to teach private music lessons at a local music store. Feeling the urgency to be on time, I noticed an unusual amount of cars lined up as I neared the familiar intersection. A freight train appeared to be parked on the first track of seven, and approximately seventy-five cars were waiting. I was in the left-hand turning lane with the cars ahead of me proceeding one at a time. Now it was my turn. Dare I go ahead? The cars behind me were honking making my heart pound. Unsure, I slowly inched toward the intersection. My eye caught a glimpse of the brakeman from the Santa Fe Freight train who began waving at me in a circular motion. I interpreted that to mean, “Go ahead.” I could only assume they were having difficulty with the freight train or the railroad tracks. Slowly I passed the first track and the train, but just as I did, looming above me was the black engine of an Amtrak train. Panicking, I tried to get my car into reverse. That’s the last thing I remember.
As I lay in the ER, my doctor informed my parents and fiancé that I had severe blood loss, a broken back and multiple fractures to my skull, shattered shoulder, internal injuries, and a severed ulner nerve in my left arm. The ulner nerve gives dexterity and strength to parts of the hand and two fingers. The doctor wasn’t sure I would survive through the night due to the severity of injuries and loss of blood. Students from school began showing up in the waiting room to pray. The engineer of the Amtrak train happened to be a believer, and called my parents giving them a word he received from the Lord. He said, “Don’t worry, your daughter will be healed.”
After five days, much to the doctor’s amazement, new ex-rays were taken of my back and skull that showed the fractures had completely disappeared! Eleven days later I walked out of the hospital. Much of my body was completely healed, but because of the severed nerve, the numbness in my fingers remained.
Thirty-four years later, I’m still waiting for the manifestation of the healing of my ulner nerve, so I can freely play the violin. Although, the emotional track has included joy and tears, I wait in expectation because of the deep hope inside of me. I see His fingerprints etched in the happenings of each new day. His faithfulness is like words of a love song, written just for me when I need encouragement most. I have experienced the goodness of the Lord, and that goodness ignites the hope that will burn until the unseen becomes a reality.
